Diary/Blog

7/22/2023- Today I went on lunch date with my fiance and we got to go to a little free museum. I've been working on my website a lot this week and I'm really starting to like how it looks! I feel like im learning a lot of coding too :3. I'm going to go out with friends to a rave tonight and I'm excited for that. Also last night my friends came over and we painted and customized some hairclips and I felt very warm and fuzzy and reassured. Sometimes I feel like I have baby brain because If i don't hang out with people for a couple days I start to overthink bout everything haha. It's good to be alone sometimes tho! Helps you appreciate being with friends even more. I'm glad i have this lil project to work on in my free time. Also a couple new people visited my website and left nice comments in the guestbook! :D Thank you very much for being here and hanging out with me I appreciate it a lot

7/19/23- The last few days have been so weird. I really don't like not having a job. It's easy to be unmotivated and sad. I've been cleaning a lot though to stay motivated and making myself get up earlier. I think it's helping. If you had told me 3 years ago before I dropped out of University that I would become a Hairstylist and start making music, I'd look at you really confused lol. It's weird how the extremly academic oriented autistic turns into the adult burntout artsy autistic. I remind myself everyday to be grateful for my life. the fact that !/3 of the world doesn't have access to the internet and I have the ability to interact with so many types of people everyday in different states and countries is a blessing. I'm also really grateful for my partner, friends, and cats. < 3 It really sucks because my partner got fired for no reason out of nowhere just because the manager had personal beef with him :(( I know this because I worked at the same place for year. I knew that they were a little too casual at times, but I never expected that they would be this wildly unprofessional. So between me and my partner both being temporarily unemployed, it's been really stressful. But he's also a very positive person like me and I try everyday to help transfer some of my energy to him. I think that everything will be okay but the waiting sucks the most. I feel like im a weird purgatory of waking up, coding, eating, going on a lil walk, watching the xfiles, and going to bed. It's not bad, but the pressure of Capitalism looming over my head is enough to make me exhausted. Since there's not a lot I can do now, I'm going to try to use this time as much as I can!! I know future me will appreciate it.